my first rant

I’ve never ever really actively participated in a cyber war before, unless you guys count Fashion Wars on Facebook? But I’m on Team Charlotte. It’s the best team. (No offense.) Or, maybe yes offense?? Since we’ve opposing views? I dunno. (How is this supposed to work?) Ha ha ha. FUCK YOU. You’re a joke. Ok. I’m really angry. I feel like my soul is on fire. Sorry, you gotsa be collateral damage in all of this. It’s nothing personal. (My stuffed toys are way too cute.) Ok. Fuck Geography too. Ok. Sorry. I’m really really REALLY hungry. And you know how I get when I’m hungry. Actually, maybe you don’t. (I am unreasonable when I’m hungry.) (I’m unreasonable when I’m not hungry too.) (I’m generally unreasonable.) Ha ha ha ok fuck off. Bye. Oh oh oh, one more thing. I think I’m going to get my period tomorrow/day after tomorrow. (Got a gut/uterus feeling.) This is a fucking sick joke, God. I used to bleed fortnightly, which was weird enough. It was pushing it, a waste of money and sanitary pads, as well as super annoying all at the same time, but I didn’t do much. I mean, I complained. But I only just started whining about it recently. You know how long I’ve been bleeding weird. I know you know. Don’t think I don’t know. Gee, imagine how much more pissed off I’d be if I were a synchronized swimmer? And how dare you succumb to peer pressure??! Don’t let Sarah pressurize you into doing anything stupid just because she has the biggest boobs in the world. I know you are better than that! You are three persons in one. Hell, Sarah is ALSO three persons in one. But that’s only because YOU made her that way. And I’m pretty sure you didn’t make her better than yourself? (She can’t do shit with 5 loaves and 2 fish.) (And she sure as hell can’t turn water into alcohol.) (Trust me, I KNOW. We wouldn’t still be sneaking vodka in plastic bottles into restaurants to avoid the corkage fees otherwise.) She was just trying to be funny when she exaggerated and joked that I bleed “5 times a month”. She is constantly doing and saying things which can’t/shouldn’t be taken seriously. You know this, right? Unless you’ve been watching the new episodes of How I Met Your Mother instead of over us. Just kidding. I know you’re watching us. (I can feel it.) It WAS kinda funny when she said it on her tag board last week. But you’re just spoiling the joke. It’s not funny when you try and make it happen for real. And you know what? Sarah might get pissed off, now that you’ve ruined her joke. But she’ll get over it. I mean, she has boobs. She has the boobs of fifteen girls combined. Talk about boob disparity. (Btw, wtf Cotton On? My friends got me a ton of your bras for my birthday, but really, they’re more like extra pockets you strap onto your chest. I can fit my wallet and 2 packets of tissue in there if I wanted to. Hi. Small chested people exist.) (I don’t want to wear a training bra my whole life.) Anyway, don’t let Sarah put ideas into your head! She has ALWAYS been a super bad influence. Even on me. But if I (functionally retarded) am able to distinguish right from wrong (on most occasions), I’m sure you (omnipotent) can too. Resist peer pressure. All the cool kids are doing it. Fuck Sarah and her boobs AND her bright ideas. Ok? That’s all.

I

can’t

write

another

line.

*keels over*

Peace out. Rant over. I love you all. I’m hugging you through the computer.

Ps- I actually had a REALLY good day. (I wonder where all this is coming from.)